Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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