thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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