Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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