Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
