You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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