come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
