That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
