I'm lost and stupid without you.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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