I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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