i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
