We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
