i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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