3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
