god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
