You made me cry and you don't even care
plz talk dirty to me
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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