Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
