It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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