I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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