just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
