Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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