cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
