I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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