If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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