I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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