just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
