Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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