And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
