Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
