TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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