Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
