My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
