i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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