I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
