9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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