Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
