So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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