we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
