Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
