Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
