Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
