Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
