I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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