you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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