I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
