So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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