Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
