Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
