I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
