I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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