I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
